Weekly Recap

It's been another full week here at the Dogman's Den.


Thanks for stopping by and reading my work. I am appreciative of what people's time means to them, so anyone who gives up some of their day to read these natterings has earned my gratitude. I hope you'll keep stopping by, and enjoying what you find here. If you see something you like, and want to make it viral across the internet, that's perfectly alright with me.

On Sunday, I devoted a piece to Karen, my late wife, and, I suppose, the dogwoman. I didn't set out to collect all these animals on my own.

Monday brought Levi's anti-Obama editorial that seemed to come out of nowhere. Levi's kind of an inscrutable fellow, so I guess I shouldn't be too surprised at his views.


Tuesday I was lazy, and stuck a YouTube clip of The World's Ugliest Dog Contest. Look, it was the first day I haven't written something original since I started doing this. I'm just saying, worse crimes have been committed.

On Wednesday, I told about my ugliest dog, my first dog, Holden. He was ugly, stupid, fat and smelly, but I still adored him. Go figure. I guess that's the thing about dogs.

Finally, on Thursday, I took a piss on the Rainbow Bridge. It's a lovely sentiment, and nice to imagine it's real, but when you break the thing down into its logistical components, you're looking at potentially a very bad scene.


Tomorrow: Saturday's News of the Dog. Let's hope for a better week than last one.



© 2009, All Rights Reserved, Rich Sands
ScottsdaleDogMan.com
ScottsdaleDogMan.blogspot.com

Karen

In my case, at least, I didn't become a dogman on my own. I had a co-conspirator who collected dogs and cats with me, my wife, Karen who passed away from breast cancer in January, 2002. She remains alive, not only in my memory, but in a number of the stories that come out of the den. In order to tell you enough about Karen, I would need to write a book, which I may ultimately do. For now, though, allow me a slight diversion from dogs and cats to tell you just a little bit about her.



Karen and I met in college in 1979, when she was still Karen Frerichs. She was memorable in that she was the only blind student at the university. You never would have known she was blind from a distance, and, except for one eye that was sort of misdirected, you wouldn't have known up-close. She was a psychology major, beautiful with long, chestnut, hair, and dating my friend, Jeff. We were nothing but friends for the first year and a half we knew each other.

Then Karen and Jeff broke up. I read her The Catcher in the Rye one January. According to international law governing the behavior of hot blind girls, once a guy reads Catcher in the Rye to one, they are obligated to fall in love with him, or, at very least, sleep with him. Don't complain to me about this. I didn't  draft the law, I just benefited from it.

Once Karen and I were together, we were spiritually married. The real marriage would take place sometime later, in a dog park, of all places. As soon as we got our first apartment we got our first dog, who we named Holden, appropriately enough. Then Karen got her first Seeing Eye dog, Lyric, and it was a whole lot of dogs and cats ever after.

Karen went to the University of Illinois College of Law. Though I read her curriculum to her, and her dog, Lyric, got her around campus, the accomplishment of graduating, and then passing the bar exam in New Mexico, belong entirely to Karen. Law school's hard, and the bar exam is harder, for those who can see. A blind person could get through law school on charm and pity, but there's no way to influence the bar exam. It's a two-day test from hell, and having to take it with someone reading it out loud to you seems incomprehensible.

Karen was also frighteningly funny and easy going. She was a hard drinking and smoking gal, and she loved to swear.  Making prank phone calls was a kind of specialty. Once, I was working at a personal injury firm, where I met my good friend, Rick. We did intakes about injuries sustained by people who had seen our firm's commercials on T.V. It wasn't much of a firm, and we didn't get many calls.


One day, Rick got a call from a lady downstate. She spoke in a thick accent, that sounded like that of black people from southeast New Mexico and southwest Texas. She talked to Rick for over an hour about her injury, supposedly sustained at the pet store she worked at, when a crazed chimp (who wasn't even supposed to be there) bit her on the face. Now she was worried that the chimp's owner, the caller's boss, was going to maliciously sic the chimp on her, and Lord help her if that happened!


Of course the caller was Karen, and the three of us laughed for months over it. I just got an e-mail from Rick about the call that brought the whole thing back and had me laughing, hard, again. I have no doubt that Rick was laughing as he wrote it. I could give a million examples, but, suffice to say, she was a very funny woman.

She played piano, and sang in cocktail bars, and could do "Me and Bobby McGee" in a way that would do Janis Joplin proud.


She originally got a job as a prosecutor at the D.A.'s office, but had to leave over ethical issues. She learned that the D.A. encouraged, no insisted, that his lawyers be dishonest with the court on occasion. After she was ordered by her supervisor to tell a judge she has witnesses ready for trial, when in fact she did not, Karen chose to do the ethical thing and resign from the D.A.'s office. 

She became a criminal defense attorney, and she never lost a single case she took to trial against the state, and continued to find it a very rare occasion when the state prosecuted their cases in an honest and ethical manner. I went to work with her as her assistant, and she and I both believed that only with strong, ethical, defense attorneys, would prosecutor's office's operate within the bounds of the law and fundamental fairness.

She always used guide dogs and loved the independence and safety they afforded her. She loved all dogs, and if there was a stray dog or cat within a five mile radius, it would find her. We had a chicken coop in the back of our old Albuquerque house, and Karen insisted we fill it with chickens, and a rooster, named Buff.

Karen had a host of medical problems, the main one being, of course, her blindness, which had a mysterious cause, with an onset just prior to puberty, and no cure. She also had early, pre-cancerous, incidents, where, in every case, the pathologist would eventually shake his head, and say, "These cells aren't cancerous, but I'll be damned if I know what they are!" 

She had migraines, and she got banged around a lot. I'd yell at her, urging her not to move around like an idiot like she could see, but Karen figured the occasional egg-sized knot on her forehead was a small price to pay for normalcy.

I'd been with Karen just under 20 years when she died, after fighting breast cancer like she'd fought everything else throughout her life. She had to fight society to be allowed to be a blind girl in a public high school in the 1970s. Not only did she attend, she was a cheerleader.

She had to fight the Department of Rehabilitation to get any help through college and law school. She had to fight discrimination, first for being a woman, and then for being a blind woman. She had to fight for her clients, and fight for the truth. 

She would have just as soon not have fought so often and so hard, but she wasn't going to back away from any fight that was just and necessary, and she would fight to the death, if that was required. What really sucks is that she died fighting cancer, which isn't just and only questionably necessary. Karen always wanted to live, but if she had to die, I wish she could have died fighting an adversary, not a stupid, random, epidemic disease which, if malignant enough, can't be beat.



I never knew Karen not to love a dog or cat (or horse, chicken, etc.), and I never knew a dog or cat not to love her back. She was a true dogwoman. 

There's a lot more to say about Karen, of course, but the main thing for now is Erica, Levi and I miss her a lot, and you need to know who she was to fully appreciate some of my recounting of things that happened to us.

© 2009, All Rights Reserved, Rich Sands
ScottsdaleDogMan.com
ScottsdaleDogMan.blogspot.com

Halloween Extravaganza and Special Edition Dog News!!!

Happy Halloween from the Den. Levi, Rocky, Erica and even little Chi-Chi all join me in wishing our readers a safe and happy day (and night).

Because my readers are very busy people doing important things, I've received very few pictures of dogs in costumes. Cindy L. of Manteno, IL, was kind enough to share pictures of her three kids, dressed up for a costume parade. That's Snoopy, at the top of the page. Not only does he genuinely look like a convict, but his expression seems to clearly denote that he's guilty of whatever he was charged with. Chances are he was mostly unhappy to be in a costume, but as was determined a few days ago, sometimes, very infrequently, but sometimes, it's all about us, and if dressing dogs up like truckers or ladybugs (Cindy L's Lucy, the trucker, and Sally, the ladybug. Or is she a dinosaur? An elk? Whatever, you just keep going, Cindy L. of Manteno!) tickles your fancy, than you ought to go right ahead and do it. Just not everyday or anything.

The kitty and dog, above, enchanted Christine M. of the Bay area, but, alas, they are not her creations. The Dogman feels, however, that if Christine just tried, she alone could costume half the dogs and cats in San Francisco! That's the Dogman challenge, accept it, if you dare!

Andrea K. of Southern California, sent me some delightful pictures of dogs with pumpkins carved to look like them. These are some great shots, and if anyone knows to whom credit should be attributed, I would love to do so.

And now, this weeks Dog news:

First, what we all want. More excellent pictures of pets in costumes! This guy has quite a page!

Here's a shocker. Pets are sometimes scared by Halloween. I once put a rubber monster mask on at K-Mart, and Karen's Seeing Eye Dog, Lyric, almost jumped out of her skin!

Web MD now gives pet advice. The Dogman prefers to avoid doctors and vets as much as possible, and here's a resource that can help us do that. Of course, but the Dogman and Levi are among the millions of uninsured Americans, but we remain grateful that we can at least get DYI medical care on the Internet. What a country!

Here's a story about how a service dog helps keep a kid with severe peanut allergies from dying! (The dog to the left is meant to be dressed as a peanut. Thematic continuity is all important in the Den.)

Keeping children with peanut allergies alive not enough for you? Check out this article about how dogs and cats help in the fight against breast cancer. And not just by being emotional support to patients, but by finding the damn stuff! Incredible.

Everyone knows about Snuggies, the infernal blanket with sleeves that's all over TV and Walgreen's and single ladies' shoulders. Somehow the creators of this monstrosity felt they hadn't taken enough money from the American people, so now, as many of you have already seen, they have Snuggies for dogs. Unlike a Halloween costume, this isn't cute. It's just sad.

OK, it's a little cute, but I still disapprove.

Using "America's Funniest Home Videos" as the barometer, it has been scientifically determined that dogs are funnier than cats! The Dogman feels that might be the truth, but he's never known a dog top enjoy subtle verbal humor. Dogs think it's funny when someone falls. Cats, on the other hand, virtually all enjoy Oscar Wilde, Tom Stoppard, and, indeed, any cerebral humor involving word play. But not puns. They'll scratch you up if you try a pun.

Here's a hard working dog who got too into his job. I hope worker's comp is available to this drug sniffing dog who OD'd on Meth. That can't be a pretty scene. I sure hope he's going to be alright. It's a shame he wasn't just sniffing for pot, or he'd be fine!

Finally, for those of us whose pets are getting older, the inevitable might be much farther off than we think. Read here about the world's oldest living dog!

Tomorrow, the Dogman will post his first piece of fiction, a short-short story called "The Dog and el Día de los Inocentes. I think it's some of my best work, and I hope you'll read it.