Saturday, December 19, 2009

They Were Winners, Who Became the Doggie's Dinners


You've got to love this story from Dallas. Two pugs who ate their owners are now up for adoption! That's right. ATE their owners! It seems the married couple who owned the dogs committed suicide, together, leaving the dogs to fend for themselves, for at least days! What are two little doggies supposed to do? That's why Levi maintains dogs should always be allowed to determine their own necessary amount of fat reserves!
This reminds me of one of my favorite dog songs by proto-punk rock legend Nick Lowe, Marie Provost (sic). The song, below, is about a silent film star, Marie Prevost, who, after great early success, died alone in her Hollywood room at the age of 38. Her body was eventually found because of the incessant barking of her dachshund.
Rumor has it that Marie's legs were covered in tiny bites when the medics removed her. Nick Lowe sings that, "She was a winner/who became the doggie's dinner."
If you've not heard Nick Lowe's song, or if you have, have a listen now and enjoy this little video. It's a great tune that you'll be humming all day, as you make sure to feed your dogs plenty. But first, the lyrics:


MARIE PROVOST
Nick Lowe


Marie Provost did not look her best
The day the cops bust into her lonely nest
in the cheap hotel up on Hollywood west
July 29

She'd been lyin' there for two or three weeks
The neighbors said they never heard a squeak
While hungry eyes that could not speak
said even little doggies have got to eat

chorus:
She was a winner that became a doggie's dinner
She never meant that much to me
Whoa oh poor Marie

Marie Provost was a movie queen
mysterious angel of the silent screen
And run like the wind the nation's young men steamed
When Marie crossed the silent screen

Whoa she came out west from New York
but when the talkies came Marie just couldn't cope
The public said Marie take a walk
All the way back to New York

-repeat chorus-

Those quaalude bombs didn't help her sleep
As her nights grew long and her days grew bleak
It's all downhill once you've passed your peak
Marie got ready for that last big sleep

The cops came in and they looked around
Throwin' up everywhere over what they found
The handiwork of Marie's little dachshund
That hungry little dachshund

-repeat chorus-

poor Marie


14 comments:

Lauren said...

I'm surprised, as well as elated that the dogs were not destroyed because they tasted human meat. It's nice that sometimes things are done right.

who wouda thunk it?? said...

hey Levi, I looked at the video, and both those doggies seem to have quite a sufficient amount of body fat. How does that fit into your theory?? just wondering

Rich Sands said...

Levi says the amount of necessary body fat to make a dog truly famine-proof is highly variable, and depends, in large measure, on how hungry the dog is question tends to get. Levi also has some choice words for YOU, which I will not transcribe. It seems ANY challenge to ANY theory Levi adheres to rather infuriates him.
I agree. Those pugs could have waited a little longer, but I'm not sure if the pictured dogs are the actual culprits...I mean victims. But, like Lauren, I'm elated this small dietary indiscretion didn't doom the kids.

52 Faces said...

I kind of found this hilarious.

And I'm also really happy that the dogs survived. The first thing I said when I read this was, "Those owners were so selfish to kill themselves before putting their dogs into another home!"

Daisy said...

I agree with 52 Faces; the least they couple should have done is find a good home for their dogs before they did the deed.

Jaya said...

Those poor pugs. I hope they get good homes, with more responsible owners. I don't begrudge their former owners making the choice to kill themselves, but they could have ALSO chosen to provide a better outcome for their dogs... by taking them to a shelter, or leaving them at a friend's house, for instance.

Rich Sands said...

Now 52 Faces, Daisy, Jaya, it isn't like they just left the dogs with nothing to eat.

Jennifer said...

Well, a pug's gotta do what a pug's gotta do. Maybe the couple should have thought about finding someone to take care of their dogs before they offed themselves, though I'm sure they were wrapped up in their own problems.

This was a good juxtaposition of post and song -- very funny.

Griffin said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
The Hawg! said...

Not sure I'd want to adopt a pug that ate it's owner, regardless of the circumstances. Wow.

tashabud said...

Eeew! That sounds gruesome. I knew all along there's another reason for me not to have a dog. The dog would get all the sympathy that would otherwise be intended towards me, should I decide to commit suicide! LOL. I thought that dogs just mourn beside their human best friends, instead of eating them? But, I suppose, for three weeks long of no food, dogs have to do what they have to do to survive, eh?

The Accessory Lady said...

That is the most bizarre story I've ever heard. The dogs just went on survival mode so they could get through that horror. It must have also be extremely bewildering and depressing for them as I'm sure they wanted to know why their people left them. They are not at fault and I'm glad they were not killed because of it. The couple really should have found a home for them. So crazy!

CastoCreations said...

OMG...it's tragic but hilarious! SO glad the doggies are up for adoption, though I admit, I'd watch them a little closer with a suspicious eye. ROFL

sophie said...

pretty funny cartoons, oh yes happy new year to all,

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