Monday, November 23, 2009

My Turn: Dudleys Rule! by Levi

Though my brother, Rocky, is adopted, and we don't generally resemble each other, we share a feature that distinguishes us, and marks us for greatness. I'm speaking, of course, of our Dudley noses.

Most dogs' noses are black, like bears. Rocky and I will not be confused with bears, though, because we are in the minority of lucky dogs with handsome pink noses. We are Dudley dogs.

The stupid AKC says a Dudley nose is a fault! That's stupid. It is evident that dogs with Dudley noses are faultless! Rocky and I, for instance, are both very good boys. Ask dad, or grandma. Ask the vet, or the groomer. Ask Dianne and Shannon! We are good, good, boys!

The internet says a Dudley nose is because of recessive genes. Dad says that's also why I'm blond. He says I'm so recessive that my toenails are pink and translucent! I'm glad they are, because I would look ugly with ugly black toenails. Rocky's toenails are black, but they don't look ugly on Rocky, like a black nose would.

I am not saying I have a problem with dogs who have black noses. Those are the common dogs, and a black nose is alright for them. But when I meet another dog who has a Dudley nose, I know I am meeting someone special. And here's something else. Bad, ugly, stupid and mean black dogs never have Dudley noses! That just proves that they're good.

Did you know a Dudley nose is called that because of a very handsome bulldog named Lord Dudley who lived in the 1800's? My nose is like his!

In cultures across time and space, dogs with a Dudley nose have been considered to be the best dogs! Egyptians worshipped Dudley dogs as gods! Romans had Dudley dogs in the Senate! Across the Orient, the appearance of a dog with a Dudley nose has long been thought auspicious! If Rocky and I went to Korea, the people would think we were auspicious, not delicious!

So I have shown that Dudley dogs are the best, and that other dogs wish they could be Dudley dogs, but only a select few get to be. Dudley dogs are more smarter, handsome, better and more greatly respected than any other dog. We Dudley dogs should stick together, like me and Rocky do, because Dudley dogs are the best! We bring joy and good luck to all around us!

People ask me, "Can a Dudley dog do wrong?" and I say, "No, Dudley do right!"

That is my joke! Dudley do right!

It is funny and Rocky thought it was funny, too, after I explained it to him!

Editor's Note: I was surprised with Levi's choice of subject, and even more surprised when I did some fact checking and found out he was actually partially right. A pink nose is called a Dudley nose, is considered a fault in purebreds, and was named after a bulldog named, Lord Dudley. Levi's assertions about the Egyptians, Romans and peoples of the Orient, on the other hand, appear to be invented out of whole cloth, and cannot be corroborated by the Editor.

For more of Levi's opinions, see NO-bama and Those People at the Door.

© 2009, All Rights Reserved, Rich Sands


Daisy said...

Pink noses and toenails are the best!

tashabud said...

Didn't know there are different dog nose colors. Thanks, Levi, for educating me. I have to admit, I'm not a dog person or a cat person. However, I still enjoyed reading your far out stories.


Anonymous said...

is rocky a bichon? and that was a bit harsh when you said about ACK

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